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10 Parenting Tips
10 Parenting Tips
Somebody should have given us a book at the hospital when we were taken our newborn home to tell us how to raise this child.
But they didn't.
So
now you can get the top 10 parenting tips to guide you in raising a
confident, well behaved kid. Of course, there are a lot more than 10
tips to raise a child, but this gets you off to a good start!
- Good Communication –
The first of 10 Parenting Tips is good communication is the foundation
for any relationship you develop. It started with how you communicated
with your parents and your siblings. That lead to how you communicated
with your teachers and friends at school. Then you had to communicate
with your spouse and your boss at work. Now it’s time to communicate
with your kids. If you had good communication with your parents as a
child, consider yourself lucky and pay if forward to your kids. If you
didn’t have good communication in your family, start a new tradition and
start communicating today.
- Teach Love and Respect
– Treat your child with love and respect and expect the same thing back
from them. The time you spend with your child should not be stressful
and loud. The interaction time between you and your child should be
kind and conversational. Teach them by speaking to them in a calm and
let them know that is how they should speak to you also. If you give
off negative energy, that is exactly what you will get back from your
child.
- Be a Good Listener
– Your child needs and deserves time when they are allowed to express
feelings, share an experience or explain a problem they are having from
beginning to end without interruption or criticism from you. Become a
listener as soon as your child is old enough to tell you about their day
or their drawing or what they did while they were at Grandma’s house.
The more you listen when they are little, the more likely they are to
talk to you when they are older.
- Mark the Boundaries
– Children will start testing you and questioning boundaries at a very
young age. They will actually start testing before you even realize
they are old enough to try. At about one year of age, certain
boundaries are being tested. It’s important to let your child know
exactly where the boundaries are and what consequences there will be if
they cross them. Make your boundaries in steel, not string. That
means, don’t change boundaries as it’s convenient for you. Don’t accept
poor behavior sometimes and then decide to set boundaries the next
time. This is confusing for a child and they won’t know when you expect
them to behave and when they are allowed to be naughty.
- Tell, Don’t Ask
– When you ask a question, you are giving the other person the option
of saying “Yes” or “No”. So when you ask your child to behave, you are
giving them the option of behaving or misbehaving. When you ask them if
they want a snack, pose it in the form of a question. When you are
telling them it is time for bed, pose it as a statement. They do not
have a choice. Kids will do what is expected of them, but when given
too many choices they have a hard time making a decision.
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- Follow Through
– with consequences and promises. If your child is misbehaving and you
tell them to shape up or there will be a consequence, then follow
through. For instance, if you said you need to finish your dinner or
you don’t get a snack later, don’t give in and give a snack later. Kids
learn so fast when you don’t always mean what you say. On the other
hand, follow through with your promises. If you promised them that you
would take them to the zoo on Saturday, then follow through and take
them to the zoo. Of course, there are times when circumstances arise
that don’t allow you to follow through and then you have to explain that
to the child, but on an everyday basis, keep your promises.
- Be a Parent, Not a Best Friend
– It’s easy to be a good friend. It’s difficult to be a good parent.
Everyone wants to give their child everything they want and be the
favorite person in their child’s life. The best thing you can give your
child is an authority figure to look up to. Don’t be concerned that he
or she will get mad at you and not speak to you for an hour. Children
can get mad and then get over. They are very forgiving and very loving.
In the end, the love will be much stronger because they know you care.
- Eliminate Daily Struggles
– If a daily activity leads to a struggle every single day, then change
the routine. This is most important in the morning when everyone is
getting ready to go their separate ways. You may be in a hurry to go to
work and drop the kids off at daycare, so things get stressful because
you’re always running late. If you get stressed because you’re running
late every single day, then change the routine by getting up earlier
yourself, getting the kids up earlier or preparing some things the night
before. If your child throws a tantrum every morning because they
can’t decide what to wear, then have them pick their clothes the night
before and lay them out. The same thing applies during the day and at
night. If it’s always a struggle, change it!
- Quality Time
– Your child needs uninterrupted time from you. In the age of cell
phones, computers and video games, quality time together gets scarcer.
Find time when everything gets unplugged. Go on a lunch date, take a
walk or find some other time together. Quality time doesn’t mean you
have to spend money. You just need to give yourselves time to actually
talk to each other.
- Pick Your Battles
– This is the last of the 10 Parenting Tips...Make sure you win the
war. I say to pick your battles because there are a lot of things you
and your child will argue about. A lot of these arguments are regarding
important life lessons and at some point, you have to be that authority
figure who says, “This is the way it’s going to be because I am the
parent.” But with some of the smaller things, you can let your child
win the argument and allow them to feel a sense of independence and
responsibility. As long as it’s not something that will put them in
danger or affect the rest of their life. For example, maybe your son
wants a funky haircut that you don’t like. His hair can grow back and
he’s not hurting anyone. Let him have the haircut. Let him have that
small battle.
If you'd like the expanded version of these 10 parenting tips, sign up for Marcia's FREE e-Book:
“Good Parenting Skills: The Three Keys to Successful Parenting”.
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Marcia Reagan is the creator of DaycareAnswers and lives in Central Minnesota with her husband and two children. She's been an in-home daycare provider for over twenty years and loves to share her experience and passion for daycare with other providers. Learn More
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